Tag Archives: Uh….something!

Student Project Flushes Out Water Problem

Oregon Student Finds School’s Toilet Water Cleaner Than Drinking Fountains

EEEEEEEEUUUUUU! This potential science fair project is, or should be, an embarrassment to the school administration when the water quality in the school toilets was better than the hall water fountains. ‘

Katherman, 13, used Q-tips and petri dishes, swabbing the spigots of four fountains and sampling one toilet, dunking the cotton in the bowl’s center and then dragging it around the rim for a complete sample. He took the results to the school lab put them under a light to speed up the bacteria’s growth. The petri dishes with fountain water were swarming with bacteria. The sample from the toilet was clean, probably because the toilets are doused with cleansing chemicals daily.

What is equally disturbing is the thought that occurs to the Chief that this problem may be potentially present at other locations than this particular school.

You too can be a hood ornament!

Man goes for the ride of his life

This is highly improbable to the extent that it sounds like something from National Lampoon.

The Michigan State Police Paw Paw Post and Van Buren County Central Dispatch began receiving strange reports of a man in a wheel chair being pushed by a semi truck on Wednesday afternoon.

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The wheel chair of a 21-year-old man became lodged in the grill of a semi truck as the vehicle pulled out of a gas station. The semi then began driving down Red Arrow Highway, with its new and unusual hood ornament still attached.

Fortunately the ride ended safely for the accidental hood ornament.

What a story that guy has!

Dr. Strangelove Now for Real?

Bush makes power grab

Stuff like this is grist for the conspiratorial mill for sure, but like the expression says: “Just because I’m paranoid, doesn’t mean they really aren’t after me.”

President Bush, without so much as issuing a press statement, on May 9 signed a directive that granted near dictatorial powers to the office of the president in the event of a national emergency declared by the president.

The “National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive,” with the dual designation of NSPD-51, as a National Security Presidential Directive, and HSPD-20, as a Homeland Security Presidential Directive, establishes under the office of president a new National Continuity Coordinator.

That job, as the document describes, is to make plans for “National Essential Functions” of all federal, state, local, territorial, and tribal governments, as well as private sector organizations to continue functioning under the president’s directives in the event of a national emergency.

The directive loosely defines “catastrophic emergency” as “any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government functions.”

A lot of this latest edict is similar to stuff already on the books in something else called the “National Emergency Act” but differs in that it removes any provision for Congressional review or removal of emergency measures. Not Good!

Military positioned to launch action – here

The United States military is being positioned to be put into action under presidential authority in any one of a dozen scenarios within the United States – including natural disasters, epidemics, terrorist attacks, insurrections, or domestic violence including conspiracies, according to a report from WND columnist Jerome R. Corsi.

He has concluded that under the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America, the military of the United States and Canada are turning NORTHCOMM into a domestic military command structure, with authority extending to Mexico, even though Mexico has not formally joined with the current United States-Canadian NORTHCOM command structure. “President Bush appears to have positioned the U.S. military and the National Guard acting under presidential authority to intervene in a wide range of domestic incidents that could occur anywhere in North America,” he wrote.

He cited a number of developments, including the 2002 order establishing NORTHCOM as response for “homeland defense” of the U.S., Canada, Mexico and parts of the Caribbean and some Atlantic and Pacific waters. That organization already controls the North American Aerospace Defense Command, a joint U.S.-Canadian effort, he said. Secondly, section 1076 of the John Warner Defense Appropriation Act for Fiscal Year 2007 grants the president the right to commandeer federal troops or state National Guard to use them domestically, he noted.

On the radio a bit ago this evening, Corsi was talking about the Cheyenne Mountain nuclear command post being transformed in a domestic emergency center for the new NORTHCOM.

Hmmmmmm. Brings to mind the final solution shown in the Peter Sellers classic film Dr. Strangelove. Hey – that makes as much sense as anything else these days!

Brit Cops Link Full Moon to Crime

More police to patrol on full moons

This is interesting. The anecdotal evidence in support of a link between crazyness and the full moon has been often denied.

In this case however, a UK police official took another look at his statistics…and surprise, surprise…there IS a correlation.

Inspector Andy Parr, of Sussex Police, made the connection while analysing crime statistics for the Brighton and Hove area’s “night-time economy”. He said: “I thought ‘We have a limited amount of men and money to spend, so let’s look at the crime figures’.
I compared a graph of full moons and a graph of last year’s violent crimes and there is a trend. People tend to be more aggressive generally.”

Interesting.

Some modern studies have suggested a link between the lunar cycle and criminality and health. Nine years ago a three-month psychological study of 1,200 inmates at Armley jail in Leeds showed a rise in violent incident in the days either side of a full moon. Ins Parr hopes his findings could lead to further university research which would be of use to police forces.

Food Nazi in Action!

Real Cops Called On Food Cop

Boycotting motivational programs, demonizing Girl Scouts, and banning birthday cupcakes are just part of a day’s work for “executive publicist/advocate for brain, body, libido” MeMe Roth. Roth is the founder of National Action Against Obesity (NAAO). Yesterday the Philadelphia Spring Valley YMCA had to call the cops on the publicist-turned-food-cop when she tried to vandalize a table of toppings for ice cream sundaes.

This gal is so far out that it virtually defies comment, other than to identify as a definite moonbat. I mean come on, calling herself Me-Me sort of says it all.

More than chickenfeed at stake

No nice guys among robber barons in pet food industry

More on this situation continues to come out…but noticeably NOT in the USA MSM…apparently this doesn’t fit the NY Slimes’ test of “All the news that fits, we print”…so once again this report comes from the Great White North, eh?

The robber barons of the $15-billion-a-year pet food industry are not nice guys They’re not the guy next door who happened to go into the right business; not like Joe the Barber where you can go get your money back for a bumbled buzz cut or Uncle Charlie in the chocolate factory.

It’s thanks to the allusive robber barons of the multi-billion dollar pet industry and their unbridled greed that melamine-tainted pet food has now made its way into poultry at 38 Indiana farms.

Read the article for more of the sad details. These guys are the sort of turkeys that give capitalism a bad name.

Help from the Government?

RECEIVED FROM AN E-MAIL CORRESPONDENT:

A Montana cowboy was over-seeng his herd in a remote mountainous pasture, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his eacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Singular RAZR-V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that cans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and he data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 3-page report on his miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as he young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government,” says the cowboy.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.”

LOL

Pop vs. Soda

You all know about the whole “red state – blue state” thing, right?

This addresses a much more fundamental issue in a similar way.

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Click on image for larger view.

DISCLOSURE: The Chief grew up in a strongly “soda” territory, but hearing the generic use of “coke” was by no means rare. He’s now in a strongly “pop” area. (Is this what the loyalists felt like when they moved to Canada?)

Can You Say “Schadenfreude”?

O’Donnell Leaving ‘The View’

Other than the snippets excerpted from the program, the Chief has never watched this program, fortunately!

Rosie O’Donnell is leaving “The View.” ABC has been unable to come to a contractual agreement with “The View” co-host. As a result, her duties on the show will come to an end mid-June.

That being said, anything that lessens the possibility of encountering the above named subject on the screen has GOT to be an improvement!

I might be a redneck…based on this!

TAKE THE TEST

Received from an e-mail correspondent:

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Colt M1911 with 7 shot magazine and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do? …………….

Democrat’s reaction:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?!
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Colt have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s reaction:
BANG!

And the Redneck’s reaction…………
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
(Sound of empty magazine being dropped and spare mag being inserted)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
(A short period of silence………….)
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Remington Hollow Points?”
Son: “Can I shoot the next one Pa?!!”
Wife: “No Honey, you ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!”

High Strangeness

Woman Has Crocodiles Strapped to Body

A woman with three crocodiles strapped to her waist was stopped at the Gaza-Egypt border crossing after guards noticed that she looked “strangely fat,” officials said Monday.

The woman’s shape raised suspicions at the Rafah terminal in southern Gaza, and a body search by a female border guard turned up the animals, each about 20 inches long, concealed underneath her loose robe, according to Maria Telleria, spokeswoman for the European observers who run the crossing.

Somehow, this deserves some comment, but the Chief is not entirely sure what it should be.

It seems like something from a Monty Python sketch…one has to say that is IS an improvement from having an explosive vest…I think.

The Truth IS Out There Somewhere, but Not Here, or There Either!

Flat Earth Society

This was brought to the Chief’s attention by an e-mail correspondent, and is presented solely for discussion purposes. The Chief is unprepared to say whether these folks actually are serious, or not.

As a physics teacher, there is no problem with refuting this…but hey, not everyone is troubled by the presence of reason in their brains. For further evidence of this, one need only consider DonkCong Murtha’s views on the war based on his astounding lack to situational awareness (as noted in the previous posting).

Come to think of it, the Flat Earthers make more sense than Murtha’s quasi senile ramblings.