This is just TOO perfect a target to ignore…like a slow hanging pitch in front of Albert Pujols…

Michael Jackson to be buried without his brain

Michael Jackson will be buried this week– without his brain. As his family tries to finalise details for the King of Pop’s funeral on Tuesday they have been told it will be held back for tests.

They faced the grim choice of waiting up to three weeks for Jackson’s brain to be returned to them or go ahead and bury him without it – which they have decided to do.

Since he lived without its presence being detectable much of the time, it’s only appropriate that he is buried without it.

Received from an e-mail correspondent. I have little interest in Cruise ships, but…THIS is a cruise package that would be worth doing!

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I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The cost is a bit high @ $800 per person per day double occupancy but I didn’t find that offensive. What I found enticing is that the cruise company is encouraging people to bring their ‘High powered weapons’ along on the cruise.

If you don’t have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (for 4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get attacked by pirates.

Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.

$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

M-16 full auto rental at $25.00/day – ammo 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95.

AK-47 rifle @ No charge. Ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 Comm block ball ammo at $14.95.

Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55.00/day ammo 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95.

Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

They even offer RPG’s at 75 bucks or 200 dollars for 3 standard loads.

“Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am.”

Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

Most cruises offer a mini-bar…these gung ho entrepreneurs offer…get this “MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE” @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire”.

Unused ammo (mini gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention.

Cabin space is limited so respond quickly.

Reserve your package before May 15th and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.

YOU are invited to join in the activities
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Whoo-hooo! That’s what I call rock and roll!

Keep Your Powder Dry

The shot heard round the world
Led to freedom ringing clear
We’ve kept the fire burning bright
For two hundred plus years
Now the tide has turned against us
Our freedom is being sold
Where is the courage we once had
The patriots so bold?
A once great country gasps her last
She withers in the field
While government as cancer grows
Lady Liberty does yield
So is this it? oh shall we quit?
Should freedom fade away?
Is this the final curtain call
Has freedom seen its day?
HELL NO I say as I rise up
My rifle in my hand
I’ll not lose my liberty
I’ll not lose my land
So stand with me brave patriots
Against the rushing tide
No longer shall we silent stand
No longer will we hide
No longer will their words hold sway
No longer will they steal
The freedom God has given us
No longer will we yield
We stand atop the parapets
Our trumpets blowing loud
To spread the truth of Freedoms Call
Throughout the gathering crowd
Grab your coat, pick up your gun
Take up the battle cry
Be ready for the coming war
And keep your powder dry

Kender MacGowan
3-18-2009

Obama calls cloning ‘dangerous, profoundly wrong

Phew! That’s encouraging.

One Obama is MORE than enough…a bunch of Obama clones would be horriffic!

Picture of 100ft-long ‘snake’ sparks fears of mythical monster in Borneo

According to legend, the Nabau was a terrifying snake more than 100ft in length and with a dragon’s head and seven nostrils.

But now local villagers living along the Baleh river in Borneo believe the mythical creature has returned after this photo of a gigantic snake swimming along the remote waterways has emerged.

The picture, taken by a member of a disaster team monitoring flood regions by helicopter, has sparked a huge debate about whether the photos are genuine or merely the work of photo-editing software.

VERY interesting, if true.  It it IS real, it’s kind of cool that something that big could be around and not be accounted for, thus far.

I’m a Mandarin!

“You’re an intellectual, and you’ve worked hard to get where you are now. You’re a strong believer in education, and you think many of the world’s problems could be solved if people were more informed and more rational. You have no tolerance for sloppy or lazy thinking. It frustrates you when people who are ignorant or dishonest rise to positions of power. You believe that people can make a difference in the world, and you’re determined to try.”

Talent: 49%
Lifer: 36%
Mandarin: 54%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

The Audacity Of Dope

Add heroin to the scores of products that have been branded with President Barack Obama’s name. Cops in upstate New York this week broke up a drug ring that allegedly sold heroin under several brand names, including “Obama.”

The Chief is not sure what the greater significance of this is.

Perhaps it’s sort of like a piece of political abstract art…what you think, is what you see.

Canal ice helps Dutch rediscover national identity

For the first time in 12 years, the Netherlands’ canals froze this month, bringing the Dutch, who like their tulips in neat rows, a heady mix of pandemonium and euphoria.

Hundreds of thousands of skaters, their cheeks as red as apples in the freezing temperatures, took to the ice, and hospital wards were filled with dozens of people with fractured arms, sprained ankles and broken legs….

“For us, it’s in our genes,” said Gus Gustafsson, 68, a retired insurance executive, explaining why he and his wife had rushed out to buy new skates and take to the ice under a cloudless blue sky. “It was like a frenzy that came over people, including lots of kids, like my granddaughter, who is 5.” With thousands of others, they skated northeast toward the cheese capital, Gouda, then toward Utrecht.

With an influx of immigrants, the country has been struggling to maintain what it considers its Dutch soul, and Gustafsson was one of many here who thought the skating experience enabled the Dutch to reconnect with their identity. “There were only Dutch people on the ice,” he said. “I saw no people of Arab descent.”

“Every picture tells a story, don’t it?”

Obama and Spider-Man appear in comic together

It’s true!

Just as some of us suspected, B.O. is a cartoon!

The U.S. has a “dry foot” rule regarding Cubans going to Florida: if they make it ashore they can stay, if theey’re picked up at sea, they go back.

There’s no report on the status of this individual who floated to a southern English beach near Brighton, all the way from Holland.

UN Survey: Arabs Read Approximately 4 Pages Per Year

This explains quite a lot.

The average Arab in the Middle East reads approximately four pages worth of literature a year, according to a RIA Novosti Russian news service report published in November.

The Syrian newspaper Tishreen, commenting on a recent survey conducted by the United Nations, said that according to the study, Americans read an average of 11 books a year, with the average Briton reading eight books.

The Arab Thought Foundation, which reports on cultural development in Arab countries, concluded that only a little more than 8 percent of Arabs aspire to a higher education.

The U.N. survey reported that every year, one new book title is published per 12,000 people in the Arab world, as compared with one per 500 people in Britain.