Johnson to pitch economic development plan in Sioux Falls

Sen. Tim Johnson is proposing a comprehensive economic development scheme for South Dakota and will unveil it Thursday in Sioux Falls.

(WARNING: Entering active satire zone!)

Oh great father! Save us! We can do nothing without YOUR beneficent leadership!

It is the product of more than a dozen meetings Johnson attended in communities around the state and the responses to hundreds of surveys he sent out to residents since last December.

Hmmmmmm. Must have missed all that. Oh. Right. I’m not a registered Donk!

The agenda contains four parts:

Naaah. It’s just ONE concept, applied with different labels.

– promoting economic partnerships at the local, state and regional level;

Hmmm. Government is growing in this one: after all, SOMEBODY has to manage and adminster all this.

– seeking federal funding for start-up businesses;

More government money = more government.

– encouraging private investment and securing federal funding for industries like renewable energy and value-added agriculture, and opposing cuts to federal community development block grants and rural development funds;

Ditto both of the above comments.

– sheltering citizens against rising energy and health care cuts, and raising the federal minimum wage.

And yet more of the same: we’re just dust in the wind without the government to protect us!

Johnson, a Democrat, will present his Hometown Prosperity Plan at the Sioux Falls Chamber of Commerce Inside Washington luncheon Thursday at 11:30 a.m. at the convention center.

I can hardly wait! (Be still my beating heart!)