This election and its aftermath has been as synthetic as the efforts of Mary Shelley’s fictional doctor, and the results is just as monstrous as the original monster who was widely known by the name of said doctor: Frankenstein! It fits!
A lot of the venal sins of Congress could be judged pornographic, both politically and otherwise, but we’ve never had an Official Senate Pornographer before. Sen. Chuck Schumer says Al Franken will fit right in.
“With the Minnesota recount complete,” he says, gleefully, “it is now clear that Al Franken won the election.” Actually, it isn’t clear at all, as Mr. Schumer well knows, even though the Democrats managing the recount declared Mr. Franken the winner yesterday. The Democrats in the Senate are eager to get Al seated quickly because once he’s seated among equals a bum is difficult to throw out. There’s honor among senators, similar to the honor among thieves. (The difference is that thieves often hold to higher standards.)
The gory details of the stealing of the election are obvious, brazen, and detailed in this column. In the words of a Warren Zevon song: “It ain’t that pretty at all.”
The thought of Al Franken(stein) in the Senate is just about enough to make one truly sympathetic of the normally hideous Roman Emperor Caligula, who appointed his favorite horse as consul of the empire, as a means of showing his contempt for the feckless and corrupt Senate of his day.
With the Minnesota Border about 25 miles away, the Chief hopes that their state environmental agency has means to keep the slime on that side of the line if this buffoon is finally confirmed to the Senate, but Caligula would feel at home.