Enuf is Enuf: Some Peepl Thru with Dificult Spelingz
My favorite quotation from Max Headroom is in order here: “Lincoln said you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. I (Max) say, if you don’t teach them to read you can fool them anytime you want to.”
Once again it is demonstrated that the art of satire applied to moonbats is in serious danger. It seems no matter how far-fetched a hypothetical situation is invented to carry moonbattery to it’s logically absurd extremity, they never fail to adopt it for themselves, as a SERIOUS proposal.
The latest illustration of this is a plan to dumb down spelling:
When “say,” “they” and “weigh” rhyme, but “bomb,” “comb” and “tomb” don’t, wuudn’t it maek mor sens to spel wurdz the wae thae sound? Those in favor of simplified spelling say children would learn faster and illiteracy rates would drop. Opponents say a new system would make spelling even more confusing. Eether wae, the consept has yet to capcher th publix imajinaeshun.
“It’s a very difficult thing to get something accepted like this,” says Alan Mole, president of the American Illiteracy Literacy Council, which favors an end to “illogical spelling.”
What about illogical thinking? Ooops! Better not go THERE!
This has to be rite up ther along with Ebonics(c) advocates, proving that stupid ideas are truli not based on race – wites can play the game just as dumli as blaks do.
A couple of years back the Chief got a satirical proposal for “simplification” of the spelling of English in the context of something called “Euro-English”. This uncannily reminds him of this simplified spelling idea. Check it out:
The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up
konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This
will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”s in
the language is disgrasful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year,
ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!
Once again, moonbat reality catches up with satire.
Q.E.D.